As I was sitting on the couch the other night feeling “Large and Completely Out of Charge,” I looked over at my husband and realized that this was about to be our reality for the next several months. . .maybe longer.
Bedtime for the Little Man is at 8pm.
TV goes on.
The Husband is lost in the world of sports, and I’m either reading or blogging;
too exhausted from the day to do anything other than shut off our brains. . .
Welcome to the life of being a parent!
(If you haven’t reached that point yet, you will! It’s inevitable.)
Somewhere along the way, you become that couple that is sitting politely at the dinner table with nothing to talk about but your children or to your children. Then when you do have time alone, peace and quiet becomes more important than romance. After all, neither one of you have probably had a moment of just sitting in silence all day.
So, as I was sitting on the couch watching my future flash before my eyes, I realized I have a new goal for this year and beyond. . .
I need to remember that my relationship with my husband comes first.
Kids can wait.
Technology can wait.
Life can wait.
To help make this happen, I’ve come up with some ways that will make it reasonable and possible for us to maintain our relationship and spontaneity even when we’re now a family of 4 with a newborn.
Dinner after Bedtime
Tim has a rule that he wants us to eat dinner as a family; however, this isn’t always the easiest task for me. It often involves a lot of planning and trying to figure out when exactly he’ll be home since it’s usually about the time we should be eating; not preparing.
It almost always involves one of us making a made rush to keep food warm while finishing up the meal, and the other entertaining the toddler and keep him out of the kitchen to avoid the mess that’s flying everywhere. (Crock Pot meals help big time with this, but it still requires perfect timing!)
Then once dinner is ready, we’re plopping ourselves down at the table and trying to entertain the toddler while scarfing our food down before he gets too antsy and wants down. And all I can think in my mind is in 1 month add a newborn to this equation. . . .
Wouldn’t it be more romantic if on occasion we had a quiet dinner together without all the running around??
Once every few weeks, we’re going to try having dinner after “bedtime” so that we can enjoy a meal and not have to worry about how fast we eat or perfect timing.
Date Night Ideas At Home
If you haven’t discovered the Dating Divas yet, I highly recommend you head over to their site and sign up. Their motto is “Strengthening Marriages, One Date Night at a Time.“
Each week, they provide a new date night idea, and all you have to do is recreate it! Whether you’re in for an adventure, a group date, going out on the town, or dating at home, they have ideas for every situation.
Some of my favorite “date nights at home” that I’m excited to try are:
- Mocktails with my Sweetheart & favorite “holiday” movie for Valentine’s Day
- S’Mores Night
- Chinese Please
- Breakfast in Bed for Dinner
- A Date that Scores
Keeping it Spontaneous
Obviously being 100% spontaneous isn’t going to happen when you know you’ll be trapped after bedtime, but you can still make it exciting!
Pinterest has some great ideas on how to keep date nights fun and a surprise without going to too much trouble.
Some of the more popular ways to randomly decide a date night is to pull craft sticks or labeled paper scraps from a can; however, I’ve also seen preassembled date night bags like the one shown here.
I’m not quite sure how I’m going to go about “choosing” our dates at random to make it a surprise, but I do know I want to get an “at home” date night put on the calendar at least once every other week. As our world gets more crazy, I can already tell if it’s not on the calendar, it won’t get done.
Have you tried dating at home before?
How did it work for you?